Almost two months ago, I applied to my school to get my degree. I waited for almost two months, but unfortunately after receiving it, I realized that something was wrong. My father’s name was incorrect on my degree. Such things have happened to me before. But it was a tough fight for me and it forced me to fix it myself.
This was just the beginning of my story. My problems started shortly after.
Only my mother and I were aware of the mistake. Maybe if my father had heard, he would have blamed me. I was very scared and thought it was my fault because I was not careful. I had experienced something similar before and my father had blamed me for that. This time, I could not dare to tell him my problem, I had to hide and only inform my mother. I was so honored because I received a school degree, but I had to hide it from my father.
I decided to go to the Department of Education to correct it. For two days I tried but each time I did not reach a result and I was told I had to go to Kabul. I woke up on Wednesday morning, after not sleeping much at night. In the morning, when I found out that my uncle’s route was through Kabul, I called him and told him the story and asked him to take me with him.
My uncle accepted, but my father did not know. I was only thinking about my degree and worrying that it would not be corrected. Everything was getting harder.
My uncle called my father and asked him for permission. My father agreed and I finally went to Kabul with my uncle on Wednesday.
When I arrived in Kabul, I was alone and stayed at the house of a distant relative for a few days. I slept on Wednesday night and went to take care of my degree on Thursday, but I did not understand anything. Everything was confusing. I did not understand where to go first. I was a lonely girl in this difficult situation where the Taliban are ruling. Even my relatives warned me not to go alone, but I left. I was alone, I had only one friend who was in Bamyan who guided me over the phone. When I left the house, everything was scary for me. On the one hand, I was a girl and my whole body trembled with fear of the Taliban. Every step I took appeared in front of me. When I got a car, my whole being was filled with fear that they would be bad people and do something wrong.
Thursday was a very difficult day for me. And for the second time, my heart burned for myself. I went through all the fears and finally found the place of the officials. It was here that I cried when I saw how crowded it was because if I waited, it would be night and I would have to walk home alone. I waited a long time, but I had to go home before it got dark. I was so sorry that one day was gone. On the way, I felt persecuted by the people. I was afraid of everyone. The sons of the Taliban. I even had to wear clothes that I could not even collect.
When I came home at night, I cried when I went to sleep and asked God to help me.
On Friday, I called my friend to help guide me. The next day, I went to the officials and told them about my degree problem. He answered very badly, I was very disappointed and sad.
They took my degree and did not give any other answers. I couldn’t do anything because I was a girl.
Finally, they told me that they would correct my degree, but it will take a long time because thousands of degrees are here to take care of. They took my phone number and said they would let me know. I was very worried about leaving my degree with them and I wondered if it would be right or not.
I returned home and waited for days for him to call me. Three days passed, four days passed, but they didn’t call me. I had to go there again. I faced a worse problem the next Wednesday, when the Minister of Prevention of Vice, who is responsible for the hijab for girls, got in my way. They said that no girl has the right to appear in public places without a hijab or a mahram. I had observed my hijab, but I had no one to be with me as a mahram.
Afraid that they wouldn’t take me with them, I hurried back home, my whole body shaking and sweating. When I got home, I called my mother and cried to her from the bottom of my heart. I told her to tell my father the whole story. I can’t stand it here anymore.
A few minutes later, my father called me and answered very, very badly and said very bad things to me. I was very scared and couldn’t say anything and hung up. Even my father told me this when we were talking, “If you get your degree, that’s great, but if you don’t, never come back here again. Go wherever you want.”
I was very disappointed by my father’s words. On the other hand, I hadn’t even received a call. On Thursday of this week, I went out again to check on my certificate. The conditions were difficult, I didn’t even have a man with me as a mahram. Everywhere I went, there were Taliban, and I was always running away from them so they wouldn’t see me without a mahram.
Finally, I reached the officials with difficulty and asked the department manager about my problem. They told me that if he didn’t call, my problem wasn’t solved, and I must wait until the document problem was fixed. They took me to several managers who took the necessary information from me and told me that everything would be fixed by next week. I had a lot to do in Bamyan and I couldn’t wait in Kabul, so I decided to go back. I was afraid of how I would face my father, how I would walk alone, what the Taliban would do, how I would get a car alone.
But I surrendered myself to God and returned to Bamyan on Saturday. The road to Kabul was very bad. On one side was the rain, on the other side, the Taliban had a checkpoint in every part. During the journey, they kept asking me where my mahram was. And what was my relationship with the passengers? Finally, Saturday, I reached home. And I am writing this story of my life with tears.
I finally realized that in this world we should not need anyone, even family sometimes cannot support us properly. I learned not to depend on anyone or anything and to be careful and cautious at all times. My story taught me how bad the situation of girls in Afghanistan is. How much pain we have to endure to achieve success. I am very sorry for myself and the girls of my country, but my final word is that we have to be strong.
– ‘Tamina’
Letter received from our students participating in our Mentorship program. Name and text altered for protection of our students and for grammatical changes.
